Talk Like A Boardgamer

This piece was inspired by Talk Like a Gamer by Greg Costikyan, originally published in the Summer 2002 issue of Verbatim: The Language Quarterly.

Whether they're called TGOO (These Games Of Ours), Euro, euro-trash, sociable strategy, alternative, spiel, designer, adult, strategy, family, German, or something else entirely, games of this nature come with their own language. While the terms boardgamers use to describe their art is often simple and elegant, it is filled with nuance. At times, the shades of the language are important to understand. This piece and its corrollary, the Spielboy Boardgamer Reference, aims to aid you in your immersion of the dialect of boardgamers.

When two or more boardgamers get together on a predetermined night, they are said to be attending a session. If it's an invitation-only session, such as the GoF (the Gathering of Friends), then expect a few members of the gaming glitterati (boardgamers who know more than you) to make an appearance. Open or public sessions often attract folks like That Guy (an onerous individual), or worse, grognards (usually older gentlemen who prefer wargames).

Folks sometimes arrive at sessions with bins (plastic storage tubs), filled with big box (large) games that produce equally large box farts (the noise a box makes when you open it). Wanting to be polite, invitees also bring game-friendly foods (snack foods that lack sauces, cheeses, or grease) for all to snack on.

Sessions typically become swordfights (rooms full of men), but the boardgames are played by all types of people. However, shorties (children) are often discouraged to attend because of their inability to logically process information as well as adults.

Sessions often start with an opener, then focus on heavier fare, and finally, wrap up with a closer or two. Sometimes, towards the end of the evening, the gathered hear the call of the cups (feel the desire to play Call My Bluff). In between games, a filler (short) game might be played while folks decide what to play next.

People that can't make it to the session might meet up on BSW (www.brettspielwelt.de). If they crave the nuances of f2f (face to face) interaction, they may live vicariously by reading SRs (session reports).

Session reports list the winners and losers of each game, as well as impressions about the game and any interesting situations or comments that may have arisen during play. If the SR writer was the winner, clearly the game rewarded careful planning — or strategy — combined with timely and decisive moves — or tactics. If the scribner lost the game, then the game was quite possibly a luck-driven dicefest (a game driven by the rolling of many dice).

If the poor writer of a session report lost the game by a considerable margin, then it is likely broken or alternatively, bah-roken (containing rules that lead to lock-ups or situations that favor one player significantly). The game might also require errata (rules clarification) or they played so masterfully as to encourage an abundance of screwage (attack) against the perceived leader. The writer may not have had the luck or timing to mount a come from behind, and the game may have had a rich get richer problem.

Writers of session reports often record their impressions of a game on BGG (www.boardgamegeek.com) or provide a rating (number), which represents the way they feel towards the game on any number of scales. One such scale is Joe's Happiness Heuristic (time spent playing X (rating - 5)).

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When boardgamers write session reports, they tend to use carefully-constructed abbreviations when referring to the names of games. These are mixed-case combinations of two or more letters, as in OFuA, dKvA, PoF, NGiOR, HotW, DdW, SoC, and EotAW (Ohn Furcht und Adel, die Kaufleute von Amsterdam, Princes of Florence, New Games in Old Rome, History of the World, Durch die Wuste, Settlers of Catan, and Empires of the Ancient World, respectively).

Occasionally the shortenings use part of the game's name as in Tfab (Traumfabrik), Carc (Carcassonne), and crok (crokinole), but more often they employ an ampersand; for examples, R&B, E&T (and alternatively, T&E), ES&R, K&K, and the similarly innoffensive KK&K (Roads & Boats, Euphrates & Tigris/Tigris & Euphrates, Edel Stein & Reich, Kardinal and Konig, and Kohle Kie$ & Knete, respectively).

Other punctuation marks such as colons and hyphens provide cues for identifying a game from its all-too-short abbreviation as in B:tVS, M:tG, G:tDA, T:tA, MR1-4, and BoS-L (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Magic: The Gathering, Galaxy: The Dark Ages, Titan: The Arena, Mystery Rummy #1 through 4, Bridges of Shangri-La, respectively).

Game publishers, too, are sometimes represented by their shortened names. There's HiG, FFG, F2F,AH, RGG, ASS, FXS, and WotC (Hans im Glueck, Fantasy Flight Games, Face 2 Face, Avalon Hill, Rio Grande Games, ASS, FX Schmidt, and Wizards of the Coast, respectively). Umlauts, accents, and characters outside of the standard English character set (those requiring more than one keystroke on a US-localized computer) are often ignored.

Sometimes entire sessions can be comprised of playing a single, long game, or monster. Monster games rarely escape the closet because of their length. However, they tend to have richly incorporated themes, engrossing mechanics (methods in which players interact with one another and the game system), and plenty of meat (actions to think about, plan for, and carry out). Certainly not for gaming vegetarians (boardgamers who don't like meat)!

Games with an esoteric feel are often called abstracts. These include classic games like checkers, chess, and parchesi, but also encompass a wide variety of designer's efforts. Boardgamers will know that you mean the opposite of abstract if you use the term concrete.

Boardgames are also compared in terms of weight. Light games tend to be short and can be played without using a lot of cycles (circuits in the brain). A light game often lacks depth, but you never say it is shallow. Heavier games can be deep — but not bottomless, meaty — but not obese. People who favor them tend to eschew party (fun games for large groups), word (games requiring a vocabulary), and dexterity (games requiring physical balance and accuracy) games.

The theme identifies the time and place in which the game takes place. It ostensibly creates a unifying thread to which the mechanics are tied and the players immersed. Weak themes can be pasted on or painted on. Themes can be rich but never poor, thin but never fat.

Bits (game components) come in a variety of shapes and sizes, from cubes, sticks, and disks, to pawns, huts, houses, boats, planes, trucks, and meeples (wooden components that represent people or units of people). They are chunky or nice, thin or lousy. Some are plastic and molded, metal or resin, but most are made of wood. A game with bits in over-abundance has too much chrome (overproduced components), even if they are not made of metal.

Perfect-information games (games where there are no hidden or random elements) are often very abstract and can suffer from over-analysis from A/P types (people prone to analysis/paralysis). Boardgamers are careful with whom they play these games in order to avoid downtime (time spent doing nothing). Some players suffer from a brain freeze (a state of indecision that renders someone immobile and unable to perform adequately in the time allotted) during a brain burner (a game requiring much concentration to play), which often leaves others cold (in a state of dislike for the game). Much better to Huberize (play speedily) an abstract by playing fast and making mistakes.

Boardgamers like to keep things fresh by acquiring the latest Essen or Nuremberg (locations of annual toy and game fares in Germany) releases (new publication) or placing an occasional AS (Adam-Spielt) order. They love the feel of punching tiles from new sprues (cardboard or plastic frames on which pieces are held) or huffing (deeply inhaling) that new box smell. This unnatural high often ends in a positive OoBE (Out of Box Experience).

Learning a game is an involved process that can at times be time-consuming as newbies (people new to the game) try to decipher the rules or their translations. Too many rules and the game is pronounced fiddly. Too few rules, and the game may be aborted (given up on). Rules that are indecipherable are said to be written in the language of Adlungese (named for Adlung-Spiel, a company notorious for releasing poorly written rules).

At the end of the year, boardgamers put together their five and dimes (lists of games frequently played), identify their top 10, and choose a number 1. They might compare their picks to the DSP, IGA, and SdJ (Deutscher SpielPreis, International Gamer's Award, and Speil des Jahres, respectively), read the results on the Top 100 (popular rating list) or see how they compare on the 'geek (www.boardgamegeek.com). Lesser games may be thrown onto a trade pile (temporary storage for a game to be sold) while better games will be early picks from a prize table (temporary location for a game to be given away).

The new year promises plenty of new releases from established publishers and kamikaze game companies (publishers that have no hope of surviving in the competitive marketplace of boardgame publishing) alike.