Cheat to win

When choosing his piece, one of the Parker Brother's Monopoly champions always took the iron. Why? Was the iron his lucky piece? Did he just absolutely love housework? Actually, he took the iron because it was the smallest piece and the one that was most likely to be overlooked on the gameboard. The champion managed to dodge a few rent payments during tournament games using this technique.

While this story may be apocryphal, it certainly makes cheating sound ok. Here are some other ideas to make the most of your games.

TIP #1:  Sleeping dogs lie
Just make stuff up when there is hidden information.
	Noone expects you to lie in cooperative games. Be the last hobbit standing!
	When you drop cubes into the castillo and someone asks you what you put in, say "I don't remember" or just make something up.
	Pass different commodities for your trade... the receiver will think they picked up the wrong cards, and there's never enough time to sort it out anyway.
TIP #3:  Sleight of hand
With a little dexterity and a lot of temerity, you can change the outcome of any game. Pretend every game has an "invisible hand" card.
	During a "dice-out", as you lift your cup, pick up the die you want to reveal. As you move it in front of you, turn it to the side you want and put it down.
	Rearrange your hand when noone is looking.
	Always use the smallest denominations of victory point chips. You should make more mistakes that way, especially if those mistakes are in your favour. Trading in four 1's for a 5 VP chip yields a fat 25% return.
	Wet your thumb and rub it on the sides of your opponent's caroms when he's not looking. Slows them down nicely.
TIP #6:  Get physical
In real-time or simultaneous games, cock-blocking someone with a well-timed sneeze can do wonders for your win ratio.
	Cough or blow on the cards as the deckbuilding portion begins.
	Arrange for someone to come over to the table and bother your opponent just as you start.
	Instead of passing cards by hand, shoot them across to your trading partner, trying to get them to fly off the table. While he scrambles to pick them up, game on.
TIP #10:  Public outcry
Non-sequiturs and talking out of turn is a staple of anyone's bag of cheats.
	Yell out "Set---lers of Catan anyone?" You might draw out someone else to say Set. Or better yet, call Set even when you haven't seen one yet. Then, slowly, very slowly reach for your cards. You might just find a set in time.
	Call out a low number that you haven't found yet. Helps you win in ties, and there's no penalty for being wrong. Or call out a low number just to drive your opponents crazy.
	Shout random integers while you are rearranging your hand. Adds to the confusion.
TIP #15:  Clumsy me
You're fat and stupid, so it's easy for someone to excuse your clumsy ham-hands with these techniques.
	In balancing games, bump table accidentally when you are about to lose. Then offer to start the game over. Can also be effective in Loopin' Louis to shake that last chicken loose.
	Knock over canisters as you search for a good one. When you right them, check out the number on the bottom.
	Start your carom an inch or so off the line. Works best in two-player games against near-sighted short people.
TIP #21:  Seating order
Fix the seating order before you sit down so that player order is to your advantage.
	Arrange it so you can go third. It's always nicer to place the first two camels. If someone suggests you randomize the starting player, say No.
	Sit to the left of the newbie and encourage him to take the Craftsman as often as possible.
	Site to the left of the newbie again, but this time encourage him to play the penultimate tiles surrounding the big cities.
TIP #28:  Stack Stack Stack
When playing multiple tiles or cards, stack them, even if they aren't the right type. Only the top one needs to be the right type.
	You can have all the red tiles you want! If someone tries to check your stack, grab the tiles and toss them into the gamebox for good measure, saying "Here, lemme help you with that".
	Any two cards count as a wild card when you stack 'em. Bayern here I come!
TIP #36:  Track star
Sure, hidden scoring is designed to prevent analysis/paralysis and attack the leader problems, but that shouldn't stop you from taking advantage. Write everyone's scores down as the game progresses.
	If anyone asks what you're doing, tell them that you are making notes for your session report.

Other Cheats
	Squint at night to see who the werewolves are. If you get caught, just pretend you are the Little Girl, even if you're not playing with that variant.
	When searching for the best canister, use both hands. Most people won't notice with all the other activity. Handy!
	Take a loan out during the first turn for as many chips as there are in the "bank". Since there is a finite amount of money, this should let you win all the auctions for a while.
	Put on your sharpest, gaudiest rings before you play. Then draw blood at will.
	Put a portable fan in your lap or, on a hot day, sit behind the A/C vent and lean to the side when your opponent serves.
	Insist that players play fast and make mistakes. Then take your sweet time. Works in any game that has the potential for min/maxing like Vinci, Mexica, or Amun Re.
	Some games end when the tile bag runs out. Knowing when the game will end, and how many turns you have left, can be a big advantage. When you reach in the bag on your turn, secretly count the tiles before drawing one. If anyone asks why you are taking so long, just smile and say "I'm trying to get a good one!"

Games Where Cheating is OK

If you just can't shake the urge to cheat and noone will play T&E with you any more, try these games out. The rules allow cheating.

	The infamous Invisible Hand card allows players to steal cubes from other players. If they are caught, the card is considered spent.
	Riders can cheat by holding onto the chase car during their turn, or cheat by moving 12 without rolling. In both cases, though, the rider gets photograph cards.
	An optional rule states that players may steal money from the bank as often as they get the chance (and as long as they are not the banker).
	In the bluffing version of Der Grosse Gallier, players who cheat and get away with it are given a Tournament Chip. Each round, only one player can be accused of cheating.

"If cheatin' is legal, it ain't cheatin'!"