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Understand your body type |
| Your body type defines not only who you are and what you can wear, but also what games you play. The fab fruits from Spielboy discuss the 3 basic body types and even throw in some childish drawings to make the page look more interesting. |
| Ectomorph |
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Description |
Long and thin; rectangular. |
| Celebrity ectomorphs |
Osama Bin Laden, Howard Stern, Omarosa |
| What to wear |
Wide belts, pink traveling bags, anything with soft fringes. |
| Games ectomorphs play |
Princes of the Rennassaince, Attika, ... long, dull, directionless games. |
| Mesomorph |
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Description |
Upside down triangle; wide shoulders, narrow hips |
| Celebrity mesomorphs |
Chyna, Ken Blankenship, Arnold Schwartzennegger |
| What to wear |
Graduated layers of vintage-inspired chiffon. For the hair, do something that flatters your face like a chin-length bob. |
| Games mesomorphs play |
Hamster Rolle, Villa Paletti, dexterity and balancing games. |
| Endomorph |
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Description |
Pear shape; small on top, big on bottom. |
| Celebrity ectomorphs |
Kelly Osborne, Ron Jeremy, Stimpy |
| What to wear |
A peasant top, high heels. Classy and elegant animal prints. Oversized hoop earrings and big hats. |
| Games endomorphs play |
Oasis, New England, ... big boxes with alot of junk in da trunk. |
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Do's, Don'ts and Don't Even think about its |
| Mostly-gay Spielboy fashionistas ED, AB, and DrD watch the world of fashion as it unfolds on the canvas of boardgame conventions around the world. Here's some advice from the Trashing Trio on what not to wear as you're gently removing your velvet gloves at the WBC. |
DON'T |
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DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT |
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ED: Yeeeehaw! Ride 'em ass bandits! Someone sewed this shirt and stuffed it with dousche-bag.
DrD: If I were wearing that shirt, I'd cover my nutsack, too.
ED: Gimme some cardboard backing, glue, and a paper shredder. Instant wargame!
AB: How do you win?
ED: We all lose. |
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ED: Hoary mackerel! Somebody needs to be less of MeatLoaf and more of meat-less... lasagna.
DrD: I would recommend something with horizontal stripes for a more slimming effect.
AB: Perhaps he could add a sports bra to reign in those bitch tits. Christ, he needs to cut back on the estrogen.
DrD: Oh. That's a he? Well, he's going to make some bisexual woman very happy some day. |
DON'T EITHER |
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ED: If you're gonna wear a shirt like that you'd better not be drinking milk of man-nesia.
DRD: Trippy, but save it for the backstage bash at the Dread Zeppelin reunion tour.
AB: Proof that love truly is the triumph of imagination.
DrD: I've got worms in my stool that dress better. |
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